Win-Win Situation!

When I tell people that I'm homeschooling my children i get one of two responses: people either give their unwarranted opinion as to why I shouldn't homeschool my children, or people act as though I should be nominated for sainthood.  By no means should I be sainted, but those people who have done nothing but try to discourage me from homeschooling have no idea how I got to this place.  

When I say homeschooling was not in my plan, I'm talking no where in the realm of things I had planned.  I don't know about any of you, but I'm a planner, so to speak.  Not the kind who gets paid to put together extravagant events.  No, I sit around contemplating what my next move will be in six months to a year.  So five years ago, after my baby boy was born, I started planning in my head.  The plan was easy.  He would be joining his brother and sister at school, which would leave the house empty.  That meant I could get a part time job if I wanted and I could go back to school.  Five years sounded like a long time, but I knew the time would fly by.  And so to stay motivated I would weekly, if not daily think about my plan.  What school would I go to?  What would be my field of study?  Would I go part-time or full-time?  Funny thing about my plans is that they often don't go the way I expect.

Enter December 2008.

December 2008 I found out I was pregnant.  My husband and I were excited.  Expecting a baby when you're 29 versus when you're 19 is a HUGE difference.  There was no anxiety, no embarrassment, no dread.  There was something quite empowering knowing that I was carrying a life, a life that starts out microscopic, having no body parts, which eventually turns into a small, perfect, beautiful little person.  As happy as I was, though, I did realize that a new addition to the house meant a shift in my well thought out plan.  But I'm flexible so it was no problem.

When my baby girl crossed over into this world last summer, I couldn't have been more thrilled.  To see her develop daily right before my eyes was awe-inspiring.  Seeing her smile, roll over, crawl, even hearing her cry was not only another testament to the existence of God, but also a testament to His awesomeness.  Still, I knew that her being here meant that things were going to change drastically.

Once all of my hormones went back to normal (well, what I call normal), I was able to think straight and take the steps necessary to readjust my plan.  One thing was for sure, though, my baby boy would be joining the older two at school, which left me home with the baby.  We'd have extra bonding time, if you will.  But, I would have to set aside my dream of school once again (Note: I just want to clarify one thing.  My having a baby is not fully what halted my going back to school.  It's a mix of the new baby and the fact that my husband is in school at nights AND works a crazy full time schedule.  With no one to watch the baby, it'd be impossible for me to go). 
Oh, did I forget to mention that a few weeks before the baby was born we moved?

So a month before the baby was born we closed on our first house.  I was somewhat familiar with our new neighborhood, as I grew up about 15 minutes or so from the area. My children are rather outgoing, so they, nor I, was too concerned about how they would fit in at their new school.  But concerns that I had not had before cropped up.  Excessive fighting, disrespect towards authority, foul mouths, adult language--let's just say that this new student body was different from the one they had become accustomed to.  Daily I would get reports on the latest happenings regarding the children in their classrooms. "Such-and-such told the teacher he was going to kill him"; "so-and-so kept picking a fight with me", and so on.  My oldest son, who had never been in a fight before, found himself weekly, often times daily having to defend himself against other little boys that kept starting fights with him--that is until he kicked enough of their behinds that they stopped with the physical threats and moved on to verbal assaults.  I would listen to my daughter cry because this little girl called her ugly, another little girl said that she didn't want to be her friend and yet another little girl got all up in her face.  Plus, the behavior of my children at home had drastically changed.  They were talking back, rolling eyes, sucking teeth--you get the picture.  And if you know me/my husband, you know we don't take that up in here!

Armed with all of this I did what any parent would do.  I spoke with the teachers and principal about all of the issues that were going on, but to no avail.  Though the principal and teachers were receptive to what I had to say, their hands were tied, so to speak.  Though I told them about what was going on, I knew that they see this behavior everyday, and can't do anything themselves to curtail the behavior if the parents are of the mindset that their little angel would never misbehave.  With that in mind I was left with a decision to make: Do I tell my children that they basically have to suck it up, or do I try to find a better solution?

I chose the latter.

My first thought was to find out if any of the private or parochial schools in the area had any scholarships.  I also looked into charter schools.  Because I started this search in March, I was too late to apply for scholarships for the coming school year, and none of the charter schools seemed to have spots open for K, 3rd and 5th grade.  Come April I was ready to throw my hands up.  I had done all that I could think to do.  And then it hit me.

Homeschool.

A few years back I had looked into the idea of homeschool (don't ask me why).  I had looked up a gaggle of information, and had done tons of research.  By the time I had decided it was something I might be interested in doing, I found out I was pregnant.  Didn't think it was the best idea for me to begin something of that magnitude when I knew I'd be hugging the porcelain or dragging around the house in need of a nap.

The first time around when I was telling people about my interest in homeschool I remember them looking at me like I had grown a third eye.  Certain family members and friends balked at the idea of me doing such a thing.  This time around those same people are behind me 100%.  The difference (I'm speculating) being that my children were thriving in their previous environment, so there seemed to be no reason to pull them out of traditional school.  Now there was plenty of reason.

And so here we are.  It always happens in my life that I research or learn about something "random" that I don't use or need at the current time.  I never remember what caused me to look the stuff up in the first place.  Then life happens and all of sudden I need every bit of what I researched and more.  I can only attribute it to God's hand being on me.  I believe He starts preparing me in advance (though I never know it then) for a task I'm going to do in the future. I'm sure He got quite a chuckle watching me make my little "plans", knowing that He had something totally different in store for me. 

What I've realized now is that homeschooling is not only good for my children, but it's answered prayer for me.  For months (maybe even years) I have been whining to God about the great brain He's given me and that it was going to waste just being at home with the kids.  I went on and on about how useless and unproductive I felt.  Trust me, it was regularly pity party central over here.  After the second day of teaching, amid all the busyness and craziness, running up and down the stairs, fumbling through the lesson plan book, it hit me that that for once in a long time I was THRIVING!  Yes I was exhausted, somewhat overwhelmed, and nervous about my teaching abilities, but I felt alive!  I'm being mentally stretched in ways unimaginable to me, and at the same time I'm giving my children a safe, loving environment in which to learn.  That is what I call and win-win situation!